Loss of self & Enmeshment - HSP & INFJ
Did you ever lose your real self in a relationship?
People are social beings, but sensitive people are by far the most relational of all. Yes, all those who crave to be alone, the quiet ones who don’t like to talk too much.
Yes, them.
High sensitivity is a bridge for connecting with the world, on a deep level. That’s why we can see the richness of a beautiful morning and the nuance in a voice tone.
Our eyes penetrate the expression on the face of your child. Our ears hear between the lines capturing any tone of hesitation. Our noses smell an apple gone bad from far away. And our hands can sense the tiniest change of quality from your favourite brand when it all seems all the same to others.
Having this ability means that we often rush to do something about any imbalance or incoherence we spot. When sensitive folks see it in others, they jump to help, to ease, to make good again.
They’re sensitive to a lack of harmony in every way. Unconsciously so, they take on jobs that are not theirs to take. Just because they can see what others don’t, they feel like it’s on them to sort it out.
And as years go by they get used to taking responsibility for everyone else’s well-being, and forget to care about their own. Scanning every detail in the environment they have long left their bodies, and got disconnected from themselves.
So, now admit it.
How many times have you offered advice when no one asked you? How often do you reassure people around you? Do you jump in to do what they could do, just because you sense the better way to do it?
I know I did. I felt responsible for bringing comfort, ease, efficiency, improvement, and sorting things out that others were oblivious to.
And it got me really, really, really tired.
Because WTF?
Why should everyone's trouble become mine?
And if you do, please don’t feel bad. We’re all just journeying through life and learning to heal and love ourselves more.
There is a metaphor that will help you catch yourself on the spot that I want to share with you. I came up with it a few nights ago for the book about sensitivity that I’m writing, and you can understand this complex subject in my latest video. In the episode titled Loss of self & Enmeshment - HSP & INFJ I talk about the enmeshment, blending of personality, a hallmark of all codependency, loss of self-worth, and an important fixture of all relationships with narcissists and toxic folks. Don't miss this one!
This is another video of the series about relational problems leading up to my free class.
FREE TALK
This topic and the video I published are the first in a series of healing relational wounds that will culminate with a free class that I will offer on the first Saturday of December—more details to come. Sign up to my newsletter for a free link before the class.
For now, I invite you to share any questions or experiences you might have so that I can include them in the upcoming talks and the class.
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